It's a Red Flag

I know it won’t last when I’m not writing.

At first, I tell myself I‘m just distracted with all the cute things we do together.

And because it is documented on Instagram,

Everyone tells me how happy they are for us.

“He’s the one, isn’t he?”

I must know how to relationship now.

Then I sit back one day,

When I’m not snapping a photo of our hip, fusion meal,

When we’re not overloading our senses with the latest Marvel movie,

When we’re not talking about our latest trip with colleagues at your work party.

I sit back and feel the emptiness that has been there the entire time,

Being too void of feeling to put thoughts to paper,

Because an empty heart is an empty page.

I need you to provoke me, love me, anger me, desire me.

I need you to know you will always be my other lover.

My true happiness will not come from a gift card, an oat milk latte, or a ticket to Fiji.

Give me pen. Give me paper.

And pray I’m writing when you do.