If I haven’t mentioned this before, or if you’re just joining me, I have three black cats. Please meet:
Devi – AKA: Devi von Snicklefritz, Devs, Ms. Devi, The Queen, Bitch, Deborah, and my little Panther.
11 years old, and coincidentally has the same birthday as Jane Austen.
Damien – AKA: The Toe Eater, TSA Agent, Mr. Serious, Shish-kabob, DAMIEN!
1 year old, same birthday as my Dad
Domino – AKA: Baaaaby, What’s wrong??, Mr. Sweet, Shish-kabob
1 year old, same birthday as his brother, Damien.
They each have a story of how they came into my life, but we’ll save that for another day. What would be most productive with my time (and for their benefit) is to give them their annual performance reviews.
Devi,
Thank you for joining me at the dining room table – or rather I joined you, because it is apparently your domain now. Let’s get down to it, since I know this matters to you not at all.
Key Achievements: You did not kill your adopted brothers. For that, I am very proud and relieved. You also communicate well – especially to indicate when you’ve pooped.
Challenges: I appreciate you for letting us know, but your pooping/peeing incidents on our beautiful carpets were not popular. Also, you are a bit of a drama queen when the boys get too close to you (or when you get too close to them).
Areas for Improvement: It wouldn’t hurt to be less picky about your litter. Also, you don’t have to love them (yet), but if you could just hiss more quietly instead of screaming bloody murder when the boys are near you – that would help me sleep at night.
Damien,
Thank you for taking this so seriously.
Key Achievements: You know what “yum-yum” means, and will actually let me trim your nails.
Challenges: Curtain scratching, which has progressed to mirror scratching. I know you’re trying to get my attention. There are other, less destructive ways to do that.
Areas for Improvement: The 5:00AM wake-up meows need to be delayed by at least an hour. If that is too difficult at first, you can try changing your meow pitch. Instead of the loud “MEEEEE-Owwwwww”, you can shorten it to a chirp like, “mew”. Just something less jarring in the mornings – you are not an alarm clock.
Domino,
Don’t worry, baby, you’re not in trouble.
Key Achievements: You sleep in with us, and will consistently play with your toys… and with Devi (even though she clearly does not want to).
Challenges: You don’t let us hold you enough. As the one with the softest fur, it’s only fair. You also refuse to have your nails trimmed, which makes your biscuits in our armpits an extremely unpleasant experience.
Areas for Improvement: I appreciate your determination, but you may need to give Devi her space. Otherwise, you’re perfect.
Alright, my Shish-kabobs and Ms. Devi, overall I’m going to give the household a 4 out of 5 stars. I’m docking 1 star as there is still tension amongst you boys and Devi, but I know that will take time to improve. We will circle back next year, so just remember to get along and avoid throwing up on the carpet.
Love you all.
Simply Kayla 
Leave a comment