An Affair with a Nightmare

I’m in the top bunk and always have been. I’m startled by a soft scraping sound and when I open my eyes, I see him at the foot of my bed. His sunken brown eyes stare back at me through the bars while his long finger knives scrape across the metal frame.

I can’t move. I’m terrified the slightest movement will make him grab my feet and drag me down to his boiler room. I clutch the bed sheets as I feel the first beads of sweat dripping down my neck. He takes in a deep breath, smelling my fear, and smiles. The grin distorts the burn scars on his face and it makes him even more dreadful. It’s so quiet and all I can hear are my quick little breaths, slowly turning into panic. I feel shiftment below me in the bottom bunk.

He starts to look down at my two little brothers, and I’m instantly filled with big sister instinct. With a whisper, I protest,

“No.”

He snaps his head back towards me, his smile replaced with a frown. He contemplates, tapping his knives.

“Clink, clink, clink.”

Mind made up, he smiles again.

I wake up, knowing that he will be back.

We dream all the time, but our minds won’t let us remember most of them. I’m sure he made an appearance in many of those lost dreams, but there are still many I haven’t forgotten. At first, I was always paralyzed with fear. Dreams later, I gathered up enough nerve to start running. I was mostly lost in the boiler room and scared to touch any red, scalding metal. I’d hear him laughing, always right behind me. He loved chasing me. When he finally grabbed hold of me, he’d raise his knife fingers preparing to slice me apart. That is when I’d wake up, heart pounding like it was still trying to run away.

Then one time, I escaped. Having so many of the same dreams made them familiar over time - especially him. I’d know which turn to take in the boiler room and I developed an intuition of where he’d be hiding. But it all changed when I realized this was my dream. Honestly, it would still take years for me to learn how to wake up from my own dream, so I was still trapped and terrified. But now I was in control.

He is chasing me in a multi-level parking garage. I am running as fast as I can, but seem to be going in slow-motion - as dreams tend to tease. A thought crosses my mind,

“Rollerblades would make this so much easier.”

He catches up right behind me, but I whoosh away. Looking down, I see the rollerblades strapped onto my feet. As I swiftly roll down the ramps, I feel the tension lift as I hear him scream in frustration behind me. This time, it’s my turn to smile.

As I got older, the cat and mouse chase got old. I turned to other ways of not being sliced to pieces - I tried to reason with him.

The phone shrilled in the next room, screaming to be answered. I picked up the corded phone and put the receiver to my ear.

“Kaaaaaaylaaaaaaa…”

Chills spread throughout my body and I tensed in fear. But no, I couldn’t let this game go on.

“Aren’t you bored of me? I’m getting old and slow. But, I do know young girls that have never felt true fear. I can lead you to them.”

He was quiet, but I could hear his knives clinking away. He finally replied,

“Kiss on it?”

And a tongue came out of the mouthpiece licking my lips. I can still feel the seal of that “deal” today.

Those dreams started to wither away, but even if he was there, we weren’t just enemies. We were old enemies that had grown respect for another. Sometimes I’d save someone from him, and sometimes I’d even save him. He never came after me again.

I can interpret this dream “relationship” in so many ways - especially since it spanned from my childhood to adulthood. I may say that my relationship with Freddy was parallel to the relationship with my self-esteem - as I learned to control my emotions, I grew more confident to take on challenges in life.

But I think the more fun interpretation is that Freddy is real and I just became buddies with the man of your nightmares.