Aliens are Attacking - But We Have Tina Fey

The twin-sized, metal-framed bed creaks every time we move, each creak more unsettling than the last.

My parents and I have been relocated to a social center in the center of the city, and the bed is our only private area in a room full of other families. It's a single room but fits about 20 other beds, each belonging to a family. Leaning against the walls are towers of books with no titles on the binding. The anonymous books surround us along three walls, but the fourth wall is lined with massive windows, their height running from floor to ceiling. Everyone is either sitting or pacing the room and, with the exception of the creaking beds, it's quiet. We are all waiting for the next set of directions.

I stand up and walk towards the windows. There must be a storm coming - how else could it have gotten so dark, so quickly? Across the street are five tall, framed houses neatly lined up next to one another. However, the house on the left has smoke billowing out from the top. The smoke coming out is the deepest black I've ever seen - I feel lost in space just looking at it. Others notice the smoke and run to the windows, while I do the opposite and head back to the bed my parents are on. Something isn't right and I need to be with them. 

The room fills up with darkness as the smoke darkens the surrounding sky, and then we hear a loud crash. The house full of smoke fell over onto the adjacent house,

knocking that one into the next,

::CRASH::

and then knocking that one into the next,

::CRASH::

and then knocking that one into the next,

::CRASH::

and then knocking that one into the next. 

::CRASH::

Panic-stricken, I try to find the logic in what's happening. I'm expecting a storm, but it isn't even windy yet. I ask myself, "What the hell is going on?!". My question is immediately answered when the room fills up with a yellow, bright light. The light eases off and we all see the flying saucer land next to the strip of houses. 

I'm not terrified, but I'm most definitely alarmed. Aliens just landed outside the window - be cool. We all see the second saucer approaching, eyeing it with curious minds. But in one moment are curiosity is crushed and we all scream in terror as the saucer lands on the first house, flattening it like a pancake,

and then another on the next house,

::SPLAT::

and then another on the next house,

::SPLAT::

and then another on the next house,

::SPLAT::

and then another on the next house.

::SPLAT::

It's all happening so quickly, but the realization creeps up on me that flying saucers are landing on all the houses, and we will eventually be next. At the rate they are going, there is no way we are getting out of here alive! I hopelessly surrender and accept the inevitable fate that this is the way I am going to die. I grab my parents, close my eyes, and await to be enveloped by the blackness of non-existence. 

It's absolutely quiet. Did it happen already? Is death just thinking in black space? The room starts to rumble and I realize my eyes are still closed. I open them - I'm not dead! People are already running out of the room and my parents must have already left. (Thanks Parents). I start to head towards the exit but take one last glimpse out the windows. The landed saucers are unloading their troops, and they are headed right for us. Ha! They look like modern day storm troopers. Giggling, in what may be the beginning stages of insanity, I run out of the room. 

I am going to follow this group - they seem to know what they are doing. Plus, Tina Fey is their leader. She must have been visiting Chicago when they started relocating us. It's so weird seeing her so serious. A member of the group shoved a pistol into my hand, "Safety is off" and he ran off to talk to Tina Fey. Shit, how do I turn it on? I don't want to shoot anyone! Why is this happening??

I hear marching and it's coming closer. My team darts into an alley and I dart with them, trying to remember to keep my gun faced-down at all times. A mass of alien storm troopers pass by us. As they march away, the guy that had handed me the pistol starts hissing, "Why don't we just kill them now?? They are right there!" He raises his rifle and starts to aim when Tina Fey tackles him to the ground. Bad idea. The rifle fires hitting one of the alien storm troopers in the leg. I throw my gun away- there are too many. Arms in air, hoping this is not a stupid idea, I await to be captured.

They threw us into tennis courts and locked the gates. I've been sitting here, in awe that they didn't kill any of us. Maybe they aren't hostile? But my thoughts recall the flying saucers pulverizing each of those houses. No, they are definitely hostile. I observe my fellow prisoners - how could they all look so relaxed? No one is even crying! Aren't they aware that more, probably worse, dangers await us?

As if on queue, our gate is unlocked and thrown open. One of the alien storm troopers is headed straight for me and I start to cry. Everyone should be anyways.