Simply Kayla

We always veered off topic at book club. I blame it on the Muppets.

We were mid-conversation, discussing not the book, but which diets work best. Do muppets even need to diet? At that point, I couldn’t recall the book that was up for discussion. I sat back and looked across the table at the only other human in the room. He was trying to steer the conversation back to the book, but it was a lost cause. The muppets moved on and there was no turning back. He looked at me with a frown. I shrugged back. As I succumbed to our fate, I caught a glimpse of movement outside the window. The house we were in overlooked a large lake surrounded by mountains. It was usually a serene landscape. However, at that moment, panic rose in my chest as I witnessed an avalanche in the distance – heading straight for us. 

It wasn’t snow. It looked to me as what I’d imagine white static to look like. Nevertheless, it didn’t look good. Catching my wide-eyed stare, everyone else followed my gaze out the window, and chaos ensued with the muppets. They ran in circles around the room, waving their arms frantically, and screaming to take cover. As I dove into the bathroom, I noticed a muppet take cover under a pile of blankets on the couch

I was in the bathtub when I felt the first rumble of whatever was approaching. I was convinced it would kill us instantly and cover us like the ashes of Pompeii. But it didn’t… not immediately at least. Instead there was a pressure so intense, it felt like my insides were going to burst. My ears popping, I shut my eyelids so tight fearing my eyeballs would explode out of their sockets. I was curled up in a fetal position, enduring the pressurized pain when I realized what this was. A bridge – a bridge to an alternate universe was passing through. A bridge too dangerous for us humans, and then I wondered how the muppets were doing. You can’t measure time when you’re in so much pain, but every second that passed felt like my last. It got to the point where I wanted it to be. I’m sure I was screaming, but could only hear a high-pitched whining that reverberated throughout my entire body. 

Then it stopped. 

With hesitation, I breathed in, ready to wince at any inflicted pain. But it was a breath of relief. We were over the bridge. Shaking, I climbed out of the tub, startled to see drops of blood trickling onto the floor. I looked up in the mirror to see blood streaming from my nose. I grabbed a towel and stumbled out of the bathroom to go find my friends. I was surprised to see an empty dining and living room. I heard moaning down the hallway and in one of the bedrooms, found my other human friend trying to stand up. I helped him up and put the towel to his bloody face. He looked around and frowned at me. 

“Where are the muppets?”

I shrugged.

We looked in every room, under beds, in closets and in every cabinet. We finally found ourselves outside a gymnasium. We froze when we noticed the blood-splattered windows. But I needed to know. I opened the door and found the muppets – albeit, pieces of them. Their furry little limbs were scattered throughout the gym – walls, floors, and equipment covered in blood. Who knew muppets could bleed? The pressure of the bridge must have been too much for their fragile bodies and I grieved for my silly friends. 

My human friend grabbed my shoulders, and said, “We’re not home anymore…”

I looked up at him. “Were we ever?”